Connected

I love this picture of Anna.  She was giving me that look that she gives me when she is really trying to connect with me, to understand what I'm thinking, to be a part of things.  I love that she reaches for that bond with me, and that we are so close.  I really do feel so connected to her, and wanted to find a way to celebrate that part of her childhood.  I hope that every time either of us looks back at this page, we can feel exactly what it was like, and only continue to build on that connection.

The View Through You

Rachel had me over for a visit the other night, where we scrapbooked, laughed, created new memories until the wee morning hours.  One of the projects I worked on was this page for Abbi-girl.  I wanted so badly to capture the unique way she sees the world.  One of her favorite things to do is walk around with her i-Touch on the camera feature and look at the world through the camera screen.  So often I wonder what is going through her mind as she explores the world in her own unique way.

Blog Feature: My Creative, Authentic, Life

One of the blogs I follow and love so very much is My Creative, Authentic Life, written and created by my beautiful friend, Rachel.  She is also the one who helped me to design this blog, and it is because of her that I have this little piece of the web to write on.  

  

Rachel and I have known each other since we were in Junior High, and always have so much fun together.  We can really get into trouble given a nice bottle of vino and some crafting supplies.  One of the things we love to do is go treasure hunting at thrift stores together followed quickly by coffee at our favorite local coffee shop, Wild Iris.  We can easily spend late nights gabbing wherever we are, whether that's barefoot on her couch in her living room, sipping tea at Denny's, or parked in the Peter Piper parking lot until 3am (I told you we were trouble). 

Rachel is one of the biggest inspirations in my life.  Everything she does just has that "it" factor, and brings it to a new level.  She challenges me to go beyond my own limits and encourages me to never give up.  She's an incredible mom to her beautiful girls, too. 

In addition to all of that, she takes beautiful photos, and has created a blog that makes for some pretty great reading.  If you get a chance to check out My Creative, Authentic Life, I suggest you do so.  You can't help but feel inspired for getting to know a little bit more about this amazing lady.

New Journal

I have been on the look out for the perfect journal for years.  I wanted something timeless, with a good feel to it.  It couldn't be too big, or too small.  It needed to stay open while I was writing.  The paper needed to be nice, and the right texture.  Ok, so I'm picky.  Sue me.

I finally found the journal I was looking for a couple weeks ago on the Barnes and Noble website.  It is real leather on the outside, and the paper is fantastic.  It is bound beautifully, looks timeless, and feels wonderful.  It even has that new-leather-bound-book smell.  The best part?  It was only $17 and I used a gift card I got for Christmas to buy it!  I may buy a few more since I have a bit more on my gift card, because this is seriously the PERFECT journal. 

One of my goals for 2012 is to really start recording my life, and writing my story down.  What I hope is to write a picture of what life is like for our little family in this day and age.  It will be the story of us. Our history.  A gift for future generations.  

I love the feeling of a new journal.  Possibility just seems to leak out of the empty pages.  How could it not, with a journal like this? 

Do you journal?  Is your blog your journal?  I'd love to hear your experiences!

Growing Cuttings

This plant has been taking OVER my house.  I mean taking. over.  I no longer have an end table.  I have a plant with an end-table shaped stand beneath it. Naturally I thought, "It's completely growing out of control, so why not reproduce it with cuttings and make more?"  

Nobody said I was sane.

This is step one in the experiment. I also have some spider plant shoots growing in there, and they seem to be rooting already.  Apparently I have a latent green thumb that mutates normal plants into Audrey from The Little Shop of Horrors.  

If I stop blogging soon, you'll know I have either gotten lost in the jungle, or eaten by carnivorous greenery.

Overall Wellness

I had my appointment with my psychologist today, an appointment I had been putting off for a year. I don't know why it is so difficult to ask for help or just say "I need someone to talk to." We can go to the doctor if we feel off physically but somehow we put our mental and emotional health in another box entirely, and believe that if we struggle with depression, frustration, or anxiety, we should somehow be ashamed by our own weakness.

 Mental and emotional struggles are no more a choice than high blood pressure or a tooth ache. We can do things to make them better with the help of a medical professional. Taking charge of your health in any capacity is a reason to be proud of yourself. For me, this means my OCD will get a bit more under control and my depression will continue to improve.

I saw a great poster in the office while I was waiting that talked about total wellness. I loved that it talked about the many different things that work together to create overall healthy living. Of course it mentioned eating healthy and exercise, but it also mentioned things like time with loved ones, inner peace, etc.

It got me thinking about what my own overall wellness would look like. In addition to those things I think it would have to include time spent focusing on creative interests. That is usually a wonderful outlet for me, and gives me an opportunity to change my outlook on things while I work.

What does wellness look like to you?

Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred

Ok, so it took me about 5 tries to get this picture without looking totally pained or half dead after doing this workout, and I still look like a slightly crazed tomato.  

All said, I survived it.  I really didn't think I could.  After reading the reviews of the work out, I had built up so much anxiety over starting this program that I almost didn't do it.  Don't get me wrong, the reviews all said that it was an incredible work out that gave the results they promised.  In fact, they were so promising that I eventually did try it.  That however says a lot, given my level of minor hysteria after reading reviews that said things like, "after the first work out it will hurt to live."  Yikes.

Truthfully I was probably the most pathetic excuse for a worker-outer today than anyone in the history of the 30 day shred.  I modified the modifications; that's how lame I am.  The important thing is that I did it, and it obviously worked, because my legs shook for 2 hours afterward every time I tried to stand up.  We are almost 5 hours post work out and yes, I can still feel it.  I don't feel it in the "ow" sense, but more in the, "omg my arms and legs turned to Jell-O and I don't think I could lift a fork if I tried" sense.   (hmmm... I sense a conspiracy...)

In any case, I did it.  I did it for the whole video, and I survived it with nothing worse than a case of Jell-O legs.  The most important thing I gained from it is the confidence that I can do it.  Over time I will get better at it, build endurance, and maybe even be able to get through the whole 20 minutes without yelling profanities at Jillian.  One can hope.

What's Different in 2012

2011 has been an incredible year of growth for my family.  We started out the year without a home of our own, living with friends, depressed, hurting, unemployed and job hunting.  To say that New Years Eve was a bust for me last year is an understatement.  I was so heartbroken that we were starting off the year in such a bad place, and I didn't know if we would be able to fight our way back up to being ok.  All I could do was hope, and there wasn't much hope left to go around back then. 

But... as the year progressed, things did change.  Hubby got a job.  We got a place of our own again.  Hubby got a better job.  The girls are in schools they are doing well in.  Abbi got signed up with the Division of Developmental Disabilities so that she could get better care and services than we could afford to give her on our own.  We're making it... paycheck to paycheck, but we're making it.  We have our own roof, food to eat, a car to drive, and our loving family with us.  I even managed to lose 30 lbs and keep 15 of it off (yes, that means I gained 15 back, but I am still 15 lbs lower than I was this time last year, and that is a plus for me). 

This year I am starting with a much better outlook on the year.  I do have a lot of goals for 2012, many of which I will share in the coming weeks as I work on them.  The one thing I truly plan to do differently this year is to personally progress.  My family made progress last year, but I want to focus on my own personal growth and change this year.  

I'm turning 30 in 2 months.  30.  THIRTY.  The big 3-0.  3 decades... wow.  I want to make this the start of a new era for me.  I want to value my self-worth, take care of my body, do the things that make me happy, and give attention to the things that need doing so that life goes more smoothly.  In a very short way, that sums up my goals.  The root of it all though, is perserverence, and working through the lulls and not giving up, so I can see real progress and change this year.  New habits, and a new me.  

Here's to 2012!  What are your goals?

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